Mary Bennet and Mr. Collins: A Match Made in Heaven...

...if Heaven is a place full of insufferable, moralizing airbags. We spent some time in class today looking at Mary's words to Elizabeth while the family deals with the crisis Lydia finds herself in with Wickham. She says to an incredulous Elizabeth, "This is a most unfortunate affair; and will probably be much talked of. But we must stem the tide of malice, and put into the wounded bosoms of each other, the balm of sisterly consolation" (Chapter 47). The balm of sisterly consolation? The wounded bosoms of each other?? The image is bizarre and has no palliative effect on Lizzy's real suffering.

Then we looked at Collins' letter in Chapter 48. His sentiments here are as equally horrifying as those displayed by Mary in the previous chapter. Every line in his missive is painfully idiotic, but here is my favorite: "Let me advise you then, my dear Sir, to console yourself as much as possible, to throw off your unworthy child from your affection for ever, and leave her to reap the fruits of her own heinous offence" (Chapter 48). While it's true that Mr. Bennet has some not so kind thoughts of his own about his wayward daughter, Collins misses the point entirely. Instead of forging any human connection with his cousin, Collins instead chooses to admonish and lecture Mr. Bennet. Both Mary and Collins love to take the moral high ground and be noticed while taking it. Should Charlotte die a natural death or willfully choke on a chicken bone to escape her husband's endless prattling, Mary could easily take her place at Mr. Collins' side. Watching them both dance would win the Best Awkward Comedy Scene of the last two centuries.

Other than comparing Mary and Mr. Collins, we also looked at the turmoil of emotions that Lizzy feels after she finds out what Darcy has done to restore Lydia's good name. As she does at the Netherfield Ball, Lizzy feels a range of emotion, from pleasure to pain, from pride to shame, from resentment and back again to pleasure. She has fallen for Darcy.

Tomorrow, we'll look at Bingley's reunion with Jane and the Death Cage Match between Lady Catherine De Bourgh and Lizzy. I have baked my scones and have purchased jam and clotted cream. Tea shall be provided. We'll also have some special guests in class. More later...